


Kintsugi - English version

by SeveraCrouch (severa_sha)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Consensual Underage Sex, Death Eaters, F/F, F/M, Introspection, M/M, Politics, Pureblood Culture (Harry Potter), Pureblood Politics (Harry Potter), Pureblood Society (Harry Potter), Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Wizarding Politics (Harry Potter), Wizarding Traditions (Harry Potter), Wizarding World (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 06:53:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28649349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/severa_sha/pseuds/SeveraCrouch
Summary: The two wizarding wars seen through the eyes of Alexandra Turner, daughter of two famous Healers at the St. Mungo's Hospital.Slytherin like Regulus Black and Barty Crouch Jr. she will end up among the Death Eaters.The fall of the Dark Lord and the tragic end of her beloved Regulus and Barty will force her to adapt and keep secret the devotion to her Master until his return with Barty. Her faith shall be rewarded beyond her immagination as the Lestranges escape from Azkaban and her role as Dolores Umbridge assistant will become strategic.This is a story about love, war and politics.
Relationships: Bartemius Crouch Jr./Original Female Character(s), Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Rodolphus Lestrange, Bellatrix Black Lestrange/Voldemort, Rabastan Lestrange/Original Female Character(s), Rabastan Lestrange/Rita Skeeter, Regulus Black/Bartemius Crouch Jr., Regulus Black/Bartemius Crouch Jr./Original Character(s), Rodolphus Lestrange/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Kinstugi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26193460) by [SeveraCrouch (severa_sha)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/severa_sha/pseuds/SeveraCrouch). 



> Welcome to the English translation and adaptation of Kintsugi, my long fic-written in Italian. The Italian version is completed and published (you can find it on my profile), I am planning to publish a chapter as soon as I go on with the translation (I planned one/two chapters per week). This story is canon compliant and I hope you will enjoy it and its characters.  
> Kudos and comments are welcomed

**Prologue**

**  
**

Three is a powerful number with esoteric influence: three are the Deathly Hallows, it was a Golden _Trio_ to save the wizarding world, and the triangle is one of the perfect forms for architecture.

Yet, human relationships seem to rely on couples. They told us that the presence of a third element in a couple is eccentric, like a discordant note, something that undermines the social order.

Even if the third element is a child, we experience families with problems for the arrival of a baby who has broken the couple’s harmony. So that people suggest having a second child, in order to create two couples: the parents and the children.

I understand that the times we lived were full of disorder, and that love has so many forms and shades, many more than we are used to know and to accept, but now that a long time has passed from those events and the dust of the wizarding war has settled, I can retrace our paths.

We survived to two wizarding wars and we are like Kintsugi’s vases, made up of fragments of what we were once, we are held together by gold, or love, as that old romantic of Albus Dumbledore told me once. It is astonishing to see how love shaped our lives, determining our salvation or ruin, the balance, or the madness, even for who lived in the deepest darkness.

In my experience, love has always been connected, in one way or another, with the Black family.

It would be too easy, and self-indulgent, to affirm that the cause of everything was my father’s fault and his illegal trade of Dragon eggs handled with his best friend Orion Black. In their case, it was the love for Alchemy that led an esteemed Healer, like Edward Turner, and a wealthy landowner aristocrat, like Orion Black, to make dark and dangerous connections.

However, it was because of the trafficking of Dragon eggs of my father and Orion Black that I spent much of my childhood with the Black family.

If my brother Robert spent a lot of his time involved in stupid magic challenges and even more stupid pranks with Sirius Black, I - the youngest of the bunch - was left with the company of Regulus Black.

Perhaps, my quiet nature helped the birth of our relationship, and my attitude to not interfere with his affairs, or it was beacuse a book, a story of wizards or learning Wizarding Chess were enough to make me happy. We both preferred anything to ending up with our brothers or – even worse - our mothers.

The other person in the Black family who played a decisive role in my life was Bellatrix Black, without any doubt.

I still find extremely difficult to describe the importance, the complexity, and the depth of my relationship with Bellatrix. She has never been easy to describe and a few lines will never be enough to explain our bonds which, even today, remain a grievous topic.

Now that Bellatrix and Regulus died, and that my life has taken a direction that I never imagined, I am afraid that someone will demand to our children to face the consequences of our past actions.

Writing these memories about how events unfolded, it seems necessary to me.

I will not silence on anything, because they need to know in which society we grew up, and how the war overwhelmed us, leaving scars in all of us. We tried to heal us with the only means we had.

Rodolphus is suggesting me to forget and to consign our story to oblivion, however, many years earlier I had promised to Barty that everyone would know what they did to us, how they destroyed an entire generation, and I want to keep that promise.

I hope that anyone who reads these memories will be kind enough not to judge us too harshly.

In the war we have lived through, we only tried to survive.

  


_Alexandra Turner_


	2. 1. Sorting worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra helps Regulus to manage his worries about the incoming Sorting Ceremony. When Regulus arrives to Hogwarts and get sorted in Slytherin, Alexandra relaxes and focuses on her Primary Schools duties and her classmate, Barty Crouch Jr.  
> Years passes and Alexandra and Barty arrive to Hogwarts and get sorted in Slytherin where they rejoin with Regulus Black.

**Chapter 1 - Sorting worries**

_Grimmauld Place, August 1972_

The summer when Regulus Black turned eleven was the most distressing summer of Alexandra’s entire childhood.

The previous year, the Sorting of Sirius in Gryffindor was a complete disaster, so that the entire Black family – especially Walburga - had decreed that if Regulus didn’t end up in Slytherin, the Black family would be ruined.

This prediction was repeated so many times that even Sirius confided to Robert that he felt guilty for the burden he had placed on his brother, and that he could not wait to go back to Hogwarts escaping from his insane family.

Robert stated that Sirius should not mind about it, that everyone had the right to live and shape its own lives as wished, and that it was neither Sirius nor Regulus’ fault if their parents were completely insane. Robert’s statement was one of the rare occasions in which both Sirius and Regulus agreed.

If the incoming Regulus Sorting wasn’t enough to bring distress, that same summer, Andromeda Black, Regulus’ cousin, escaped with a Muggle-born she had fallen in love with at Hogwarts. As far as Alexandra heard, he was a Hufflepuff. This accident distracted the adults from the Sorting of Regulus for a few months, but at the end of August the pressure of the family increased on the poor Regulus, who had to redeem the honour of the entire Blacks.

Andromeda’s mother, Druella Rosier, had been busy with Walburga Black and Mrs. Turner to arrange the official engagement of her youngest daughter Narcissa to Lucius Malfoy, and to persuade her eldest daughter Bellatrix to marry Rodolphus Lestrange.

Once Narcissa’s engagement and Bellatrix wedding were official, they could remove Andromeda from the Black family tree.

Among the chaos that reigned that summer at House Black, Orion and Edward sneaked out to go in search of Dragon eggs, and Regulus persuaded Alexandra to search in his father’s library some spell that could convince the Sorting Hat to sort him in Slytherin.

“It would be wonderful!” Regulus exclaimed full of hope while his finger ran over the index of Orion’s books of spells.

That summer Alexandra was nine and she tried to help Regulus in his searches, by sitting next to him and passing books full of scaring images that would then populate her nightmares. It was hard to conduct a search, in great secrecy, while the house was full of people, hysterical aunts, and house elves who Apparated every few minutes because “Mrs. Black wants to know what Mr. Regulus is doing.”

Regulus merely replied that he was studying, increasing the perplexity of Walburga who feared that with all that study his son would end up in Ravenclaw.

At home, Alexandra’s mother laughed about all the Blacks’ worries, while Edward shook his head and said he was worried about his friend, because such thoughts were never good for the health.

Alexandra and Regulus tried to involve Bellatrix in their search, but she too did not know how to help them. According to her, there was no spell that could convince the Sorting Hat to sort someone in a House to which it should not belong. She explained that it was the old Godric Gryffindor’s Hat who, like all Gryffindors, was stubborn and impossible to convince.

“Try to convince Sirius to do something he doesn’t want to do!” she said exasperated by the two children questions on the Sorting Hat.

However, Alexandra and Regulus did not intend to quit their search and continued to go through all the spellbooks they found until the day they were surprised in Orion’s library by their fathers.

They were reproached to break the house rules by sneaking in Orion’s private office and library. The typical Black’s pride prevented Regulus to confess the reasons behind such infringement, while Alexandra was so worried about her friend’s destiny that she confessed to her father: “We were looking for a spell to convince the Sorting Hat to sort Regulus in Slytherin saving the Blacks!” She was in tears, scared for the consequences of the failure of their mission. On the contrary, Mr. Turner burst out laughing: “My sweet child, not even an Unforgivable Curse could force that shrunken hat to do what it does not want to do. If Regulus wants to end up in Slytherin, Salazar will listen to him.”

Edward gave Alexandra a lesson on the importance of rules and concluded with two weeks of punishment: she would not say goodbye to Regulus before he left for Hogwarts.

Alexandra spent the next two weeks worried for her friend, and she started working on a good luck amulet described in an article of Contemporary Witch she had found in her house.

It was hard to cast a spell without even having started the first year of Hogwarts, using the little magic that her parents and her teachers at the Diagon Alley Primary school had taught her with Robert’s wand. She hoped to get a decent result in time to send it to Regulus by owl.

On August 30, however, her dad told her that she was allowed to greet Robert at Platform 9 and ¾ and say goodbye to Regulus, because she and Regulus had been good in the past two weeks and Regulus had asked Orion to be able to apologize to Alexandra for involving her in his search.

Edward added a comment about how Orion was softening and that he must have softened too if he could not keep his friend’s educational purpose.

On September 1st, 1972, Alexandra was so excited about going to King’s Cross station that she seemed to be the one to leave for Hogwarts. That morning she got dressed quickly and finished her breakfast. She gathered everyone in the living room, took the Flying Powder and distributed it to all the family, waving the cage of Robert’s owl, which began to shake its wings annoyed.

At Platform 9 and 3/4, Alexandra saw the Blacks from afar. She recognized Walburga with her pointed hat full of feathers of a rare silver bird that must have lived in Asia. Walburga, with her shrill voice, was reproaching Sirius who escaped to his mother as he saw Robert.

Regulus was holding Orion’s hand and looked around nervously. When their eyes met, they smiled and ran to meet each other. “Alex! You arrived!” exclaimed enthusiastic.

“I made this for you!” Alexandra said showing him the amulet she had made. It wasn’t beautiful, but it was the result of many days of work.

“I hope it works I saw the spell on Contemporary Witch: it is a good luck charm. Dad tells me that you cannot force the Sorting Hat with curses neither, but if you want to go to Slytherin, Salazar will help you. Maybe even my amulet will help!”

“Thank you.” Regulus replied embarrassed, “I'm sorry for the punishment.”

Alexandra shrugged smiling: “It’s over now. Let me know if the charm works!”

Regulus nodded and smiled to her friend. Orion put a hand on his son’s shoulder and told him it was time to get on the train. Alexandra watched the train leaving King's Cross station with the Blacks and the Turners. In two years she would be on that train too.

Once she went back home, Mrs Turner sat on the sofa of Turner’s tidy and neat living room. She was still wearing her robe and announced Alexandra that she had an important speech to give her. According to the rules of the house Turner, when mother had to make an important speech, Alexandra had to sit on the couch compounds, with the back straight and hands on her knees, watching her mother in the eye to make sure she was listening and understanding.

Her mother stood in front of her, wearing her beautiful purple witch robe, as was the custom of the St. Mungo Healers. She had taken off her hat and kept her hair tied in a bun which gave her a very austere air. Mother said it was about order and hygiene.

In her stiff posture, with no trace of sweetness in her eyes, her mother said: “The wizarding world is like a ladder. You must always keep in mind which step you are on and never forget it. It will help you avoid falling or attempting impossible climbs.”

“I am afraid I don’t understand, Mom.” Alexandra was wondering about the meaning of that speech. Had she done something wrong?

“Soon, you will go to Hogwarts and everything will be clearer to you. Today Regulus has left, and everything will change. You will not be able to be friends as before. He will frequent the world of the magical aristocracy and the girls of his level, just as you will have as friends the sons of Ministry of Magic’s employees or St. Mungo’s Healers. Choose wisely the steps you are able to climb or stay on your floor: trying to climb to many steps is the anticipation of a fall.”

That speech confused a lot Alexandra, and often during her future life she would return to think about her mother’s words.

Alexandra spent the evening of September 1 alone, while her parents had a night shift at St. Mungo’s, and she was left home with the House Elve Tocky. She went into the living room with her colouring book, hoping that Orion Black would pop out of the fireplace to break the good news to his best friend, maybe forgetting that Edward was in the hospital. Around eleven in the evening Alexandra was persuaded by Tocky to go to sleep.

Alexandra spent a few days in that state of silence and uncertainty. She tried to ask her father about Regulus, but he didn’t answer her. She was starting to think that her mom’s speech meant that she and Regulus would never hear from each other, and they would no longer be friends when an owl brought her a letter.

_“Slytherin! It worked! When I put on the Sorting Hat I wanted to be sorted into the Slytherin House and prove that I was worthy of my family name. I saw how Sirius and Robert looked at me, they were anxious too. When I arrived at the Slytherin table, Narcissa hugged me (I think that all my housemates envied me for all the attention my cousin gave me throughout the evening.) Even Lucius Malfoy seemed to be jealous (he is a Prefect, can you imagine?)._

_The House of Slytherin is beautiful: it is in the dungoens, under the lake, and you can see the fishs from the windows. Occasionally, a Poltergeist pops up in the corridors annoying students, but the Bloody Baron - who is our ghost - makes him run away._

_When you’ll come to Hogwarts, I will show you everything._

_Thanks for the amulet, it worked! It really brought me luck!_

_Hugs,_

_Regulus Arcturus Black”_

She breathed a sigh of relief: Blacks were safe, and Regulus still considered her a friend.

She knew they would not see each other until Christmas, so she returned to focus on the last remaining homework that Mr. Wilfred, the Ministry of Magic Primary School teacher, had assigned.

The return to Primary school was monopolized by the usual speeches about the summer holidays, about brothers and sisters leaving for Hogwarts, and then, there was Barty Crouch Jr. who spent all the time complaining that he did not spend any holiday nor seen the Express of Hogwarts because his father was chasing evil wizards.

Alexandra knew very well that her father and Regulus’ father would be among the evil wizards Mr. Crouch would arrest, if only Mr. Crouch had known about the Dragon Eggs. It was one of the reasons her dad was always against her inviting Barty to study at home.

Barty was nice and a very clever child. Mr. Wilfred once said that he had very lively magical powers and at nine Barty already knew many spells.

“This summer I made a lucky charm,” Alexandra revealed to him with proud.

“Can I see it?” he asked curiously.

“I gave it to a friend of mine because he was worried about the Sorting Ceremony at Hogwarts.” She confessed even more proud of having a friend old enough to be an Hogwarts’ student.

“Do you think that with a lucky charm, my dad would take me to see Quidditch?” he asked. Alexandra sighed hopelessly: “I think your dad and mine will never be able to accompany us to see Quidditch. They are always busy at work. Neither my mom can.”

“That’s not fair!” Barty complained pouting.

“They say it is important to the wizarding world,” Alexandra explained, repeating the words her mom always told her before going to the hospital.

“Mum is always so sad… Dad doesn’t want her to go out because she might be approached by some evil wizard.” Barty said crossing his arms around his chest. “Would you like to come to my house for homework and playing together?”

“Yes! Definitely!” she nodded happily. Alexandra managed to persuade her father to let her go to Barty’s house by saying that it was better for her to go to his house than Crouch’s son to set foot in their house. Her mother said that certain friendships should be cultivated, especially if old Bartemius would become Minister of Magic in the next few years, and only when also her Godfather Orion Black agreed to the idea, Alexandra was allowed to go to study and play at Barty’s house.

The house of Barty Crouch Jr. was a beautiful Georgian mansion near the Ministry of Magic, a beautiful white-fronted building with a dark green wooden door.

Mrs. Turner and Mrs.Crouch exchanged several owl messages to arrange that first afternoon of study and decided that Winky would pick up Barty and Alexandra from Primary school and bring them to Crouch’s house.

It was the first of a series of afternoons that were repeated on a weekly basis. Alexandra and Barty di homework and spent the rest of the afternoon inventing all sorts of games. They were both gifted with great imagination and loved to imagine adventures where they could meet any magical creature.

Barty had an illustrated book of fantastic beasts and they used that book to invent their adventures. In those afternoons was born the bond that would unite Alexandra to Barty Crouch Jr throughout their entire lives.

Two years later, while they were both walking through the Hogwarts Great Hall for their very first time, waiting for Professor McGonagall to put the Sorting Hat on their head, Alexandra holded Barty’s hand whispering: “I hope we get sorted in Slytherin.”

Barty replied: “I want to be sorted in your same House.”

“Bartemius Crouch junior,” Professor McGonagall called and Barty stepped forward to the stool, he sat, and the Sorting Hat was placed on his head. It immediately exclaimed: “Slytherin!” Murmurs of concern and surprise rose from the various House tables, most notably from Slytherin’s.

Alexandra looked over to that table and saw Lucius Malfoy with the Head Boy pin pinned to his uniform and his long blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail with a velvet ribbon, and the beautiful Narcissa Black sitting beside him. In the middle of the table, among the third-year students, Regulus chatted with his friends and occasionally gave her encouraging smiles.

“Alexandra Turner!”

When Professor McGonagall mentioned her name she almost could not move in fear. A student behind her put a hand on her shoulder and helped her to move. She felt the heart in her throat as she walked unsteadily towards the stool. The Sorting Hat was placed on her head and she clearly heard him say, “Turner, huh? Your mom and brother were excellent Ravenclaws, while your dad was a pretty good Slytherin. I see brain, I see ambition, and I see loyalty to your family. You want to go where your friends are, huh? What if you do not feel comfortable in that House? You say that friends are the most important thing? Well, if you are willing to test yourself like this, there is no doubt: Slytherin is your House!”

She cannot believe it. Alexandra looked over to the Slytherin table. She noticed the worried look Professor McGonagall gave her while getting off the stool, but she didn’t care, she had read that McGonagall was the director of the Gryffindor House.

At the table Barty sat down next to her and Regulus went to greet her and welcome her to the best Hogwarts House.


	3. 2. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra and Barty are in their fourth year, while Regulus is in his sixth year at Hogwarts. Alexandra has an unpleasant meeting with Sirius while Barty ends up in the hospital wing because of an accident playing Quidditch.  
> Everything is changing among them and Alexandra starts feeling confused as childhood ends and she enters into adolescence.

**Chapter 2 - Changes**

_Hogwarts, September 1 st, 1977_

Alexandra was excited to begin her fourth year at Hogwarts. She spent the summer in in Greece with her family so that she had any news from Regulus and Barty since months. The two boys became inseparable since Barty joined the Slytherin Quidditch team during his second year.

Orion said he was concerned about Regulus’s friendship with the son of the infamous Dark Wizards Hunter. On the contrary, Alexandra’s father had tried to make Orion understand that Barty Crouch Jr.’s friendship with their children would actually avert any suspicion. Lastly, Edward managed to overcome Orion’s resistance with one argument: “Bartermius Crouch has no time to think about our dragon eggs traffics with all the mess caused by You-Know-Who.”

When Alexandra saw her friends on platform nine and three quarters, she felt a bump in her stomach. Barty had grown a lot that summer, his face had refined, and he had even changed his voice. Barty’s hair had lightened and turned from light brown to straw. The summer sunlight highlighted his freckles under his bright brown eyes.

She felt uncomfortable as he looked at her as he didn’t recognize her.

“Alex?” he asked puzzled.

“That’s me!” She exclaimed enthusiastically, then she hold his arm and pushed him towards the train: “Are you ready to say good-bye to daddy?”

Barty nodded laughing and followed her, turning back a moment to say farewell to his mother, while Alexandra had already left her parents and the Blacks. In the compartment, far from the eyes of their families, Regulus joined them.

“Turner, did you grow up in a stroke?” he exclaimed as soon as he saw her.

Barty smirked: “The air of Greece is good!”

Alexandra blushed. It was a subject she hoped to avoid, because that summer everything changed: her chest enlarged and her hips changed too, and while she thought that her body was a complete mess, some men had looked at her when she was at the beach with her family.

Her mother had given her a speech about the importance of preserving herself for the wedding day, about not giving too much confidence to boys, about appearances, and about a series of boring social conventions that after a while she had stopped listening. She knew those sermons by heart: as a child she had heard them imparted to Narcissa, to Robert, then to Regulus, and finally her turn had come.

However, no one had told her how to handle what she was feeling, that continue state of impatience that made her nervous, often for no reason. They told her “it’s adolescence. It will pass.” Although she felt impatient, in a constant alert, as she was a bundle of nerves, that status was incompatible with the patience required by adults.

In that compartment, as she tried to think that she was finally back with her friends, she couldn’t stop to feel inadequate and desire to sink every time Barty spoke to her. There was something in his tone of voice that agitated her even if she could not understand why. He looked like the usual Barty, yet there was something different that made her fear she was doing something that could endanger their friendship.

There were times she caught Barty watching her, and others when she was caught looking at him and she wondered if he too felt that there was something different than before, even if they couldn’t understand what it was. While studying in the common room, or in the library, or while they were in class, they looked the same as before, yet she felt that they were not.

During a Potions class, while Alexandra stirred the brew in the cauldron, Barty put a hand on her shoulder to reach a vial of Erumpent Powder that was next to her. She felt a chill in that unexpected contact, and Barty blushed slightly as he handed her the vial, and he apologized.

She wondered if he felt her shivering.

Under the guidance of Regulus and Bellatrix, Barty had undertaken a course of study of the Dark Arts in great secret. Desmond Avery, Jago Mulciber and Severus Snape were the seventh-year students who were tasked with recruiting students interested in the Dark Arts and later join the Dark Lord’s ranks. The following year the baton would pass to Regulus Black, and so on, from generation to generation, looking for future dark wizards who would like to join the Cause.

Regulus, now in his sixth year, was one of the most eligible bachelors, especially among Slytherin girls. Alexandra, Barty and Regulus expected that Walburga would announce an arranged engagement for her son, the Black’s heir. 

They also started to bet about the identity of the lucky girl: according to Barty, Yaxley’s sister would be perfect for Walburga’s standards because of her grim and the air of someone who constantly has a stench under her nose. Alexandra, on the other hand, believed that she was the youngest daughter of the Rosier family, due to the Blacks’ tendency to marry between half cousins. Regulus was resigned to his destiny, he said that engagements were just formalities and that the war should not allow them to waste time in such chatter.

In those years Regulus had turned into a very charming guy, although many girls claimed that Sirius was considered more charming. Maybe it was because of Sirius’ wild hair, or because he looked as a braggart, or because of the pompous way he walked around Hogwarts, as the world was his home, along with his friend James-look-at-me-Potter.

Alexandra had always preferred Regulus to Sirius and she knew she could not be objective. She loved Regulus’s grey eyes, his long face with dark slightly long hair, as the costume of traditional wizards required. Regulus was athletic in his Quidditch Chaser uniform, and when he scored, he made amazing stunts with his broom.

***

Things began to change on a rainy October afternoon.

Alexandra was returning from the library: she wanted to leave her books in the common room and then she would join Barty and Regulus at the Quidditch pitch where they were training.

Barty played as Keeper of Slytherin, the team had improved its performance, although it looked impossible to reach Gryffindor’s standard, since James Potter seemed impossible to defeat. James Potter’s talent was one of the subjects Sirius liked to upset Regulus with.

“Hey, Turner, watch out, you lose your books!”

Sirius Black’s voice briefly anticipated the escape of the books from her grasp. Alexandra saw her books flying making laugh out Sirius and his two friends.

“Oh, Sirius, come on!” she protested hopping to try to retrieve them. Inside her book of Spells there was the essay she just finished, she just hoped that idiot Sirius wouldn’t throw it in a puddle.

“Isn’t my brother there to nurse you?” he asked sarcastically.

“I don't need nurses!” she replied annoyed.

Sirius’s friend, the chubby one, laughed heartily, while the sickly one seemed to pretend not to see.

“Give me back my books, Black!” She protested. Sirius was leaning against a wall, looking bored, waving his wand with one hand. Beside him, James Potter was playing with his stupid Golden Snitch.

“Come on, Regulus will come soon! He’s your brave knight, isn’t he?” Sirius told her in that allusive tone of who knows what was between Regulus and her. Sirius had always teased Regulus for lowering himself to play with a girl, while he played with Robert.

“Regulus is training at Quidditch!” She answered annoyed. She took advantage of Sirius’ distraction to summon her books: “Accio books!” She tried to get away as quickly as possible hiding the books under her cape.

Sirius burst out laughing: “Be careful, Alex, if you go to the Quidditch pitch in this weather, you risk getting wet like a chick!”

A jet of water over Alexandra’s head soaked her, attracting the eyes of other students who began laughing.

“Have you finished having fun with younger students, Sirius, don’t you?”

Alexandra turned to that voice and saw Regulus in his Quidditch uniform, wet and covered with mud.

“There he is! Your unblemished and fearless knight.”

“I would say it is quite stained.” The sickly guy objected, while the other continued to giggle heartily.

“Then let’s wash him too! Aguamenti!”

“Depulso!” Regulus did not let himself be taken aback, he reverted the spell of his brother and began to go towards him by casting Stunning Spell. Sirius, used to dueling with Regulus, was able to defend himself. Potter and the other two guys reached for their wands, but Sirius waved him off, saying that it was a family matter.

“I’m sorry, brother, if you have nothing better to do, but I’m busy. I need to get Alex to the hospital wing. I guess you don’t mind if we postpone our games to another time. Pietrificus Totalus!”

Sirius and his friends remained freezed, while Regulus took Alexandra under his arm, she was wet. They heard Filch cursing anyone who dared soil the corridor with mud and water and they ran away.

“What happened?” Alexandra asked worried.

“A Bludger hit Barty. He finished against of the rings, lost his balance and fell out of the broom. There was too much wind and fog, bad conditions to play, but Captain Avery insisted not to leave the field to the Gryffindors. What did my brother want from you?”

“I don't know, I was going back to the common room and come to see your training. He attacked me from behind and for no reason.”

“Typical of that idiot.”

Alexandra tarnished. Madam Pomfrey looked at her with a sigh: “Miss Turner, if you don’t know how to use protection spells, at least use an umbrella or a cloak!”

“Usually it doesn’t rain in the corridor…” she tried to justify.

“Always the same stupid jokes! If I find out that Peeves… I will demand the Bloody Baron to control him!” Madame Pomfrey took a bottle out of a cabinet and filled a spoon with the orange liquid inside. She passed the spoon to Alexandra and ordered her to swallow at once. The taste was disgusting, but after a few moments she began to feel a nice warmth expanding inside her as her hair and clothes dried completely.

Finally, she reached Barty and she found him with one leg bandaged hanging from a support.

“Does it hurt a lot?” she asked him.

“Madam Pomfrey gave me a calming potion. It was a bad fall.”

Alexandra sat down beside him and took his hand. They stood hand in hand like their first day at Hogwarts as they walked through the Great Hall waiting for the Sorting Ceremony. This time, however, Barty crossed his fingers to Alexandra’s and smiled at her as he tightened her hand.

Alexandra’s heart raced and it seemed to her that she no longer remembered how to breathe. They didn’t even hear Madam Pomfrey grumble and shut the windows. The world around them was as if it had vanished.

Alexandra looked Barty’s face, he had a few bruises and a scratch on his right cheek, his eyes were always bright and brown, his straw-colored hair was unkempt. She freed his forehead from his hair. She never noticed Barty was so handsome.

Barty tried to move towards her, but his smile twisted into a grimace of pain and he rested his back on the pillows. Alexandra walked over to him and sat on the edge of his bed, next to his good leg. Barty leaned towards her and his hand touched her cheek. She blushed.

“Sorry for being late!” Regulus announced himself entering the hospital wing. Behind the curtains surrounding his bed, Barty immediately moved away his hand from Alexandra’s cheek and she stood up. They both tried to hide their embarrassment.

“Avery blocked me in the common room with all his excuses and the usual blablabla. Merlin, how much I can’t stand him when he speaks in that pompous way that sounds like Lucius Malfoy...”

They burst out laughing.

“Anyway, he sends you his boxes of Honeydukes, which I think is the least he can do to pay off this stupid training. If we get to the match with our Keeper injured, he’ll hear me!”

“You will use the reserve,” Barty suggested.

“Salazar, little McNair cannot keep a Quaffle neither if you pass him gently, rather let’s make Alex playing.”

“Thank you for the opportunity, Regulus, but I’ve had enough water,” she said, having no desire to step into the pitch and make her debut against Gryffindor.

“Who did it?” Barty asked.

“That stupid Regulus’ brother,” Alexandra said annoyed.

“What did he want?”

“Annoy me, I suppose. He wanted my heartly knight appear,” she said pointing Regulus with a nod.

“He’s with this story again?” Regulus snapped, “does he think to offend me if he uses my mother’s words?”

“Did your mother call you that?” Alexandra asked puzzled.

“Once she said that I was too protective of you, that I looked like a knight.”

“What did I miss?” Barty asked puzzled.

“As you know, our fathers are close friends, and we basically grew up together,” Alexandra explained, “His brother used to play with mine, because they are the same age. My brother is Robert Turner from Ravenclaw. I spent my time with Regulus who taught me Wizarding Chess and then got me involved in a series of secret explorations in the Orion Black’s library.”

“What happened then?” Barty asked perplexed by that harmony: “Why didn’t your parents make a marriage arrangement?”

“Are you kidding? The Black’s heir will never be with the St. Mungo’s Healers daughter, no matter how close friends they are,” exclaimed Alexandra.

“Who told you that?” Regulus asked.

“My mom,” she replied quietly as she sat back on Barty's bed as she took Avery’s candy. She took a jelly that looked like strawberry. It was tomato, never mind. “Mum made a whole speech about the stairs and about being each one on their own step, being careful not to go down or up too much. She added that I should give you your space as not to intimidate your future girlfriends.”

“As if they let themselves be easily intimidated…” Barty exclaimed amused, followed by Regulus. Alexandra looked at them curiously.

“Once we found a couple of girls in the locker room and they started chasing Regulus who risked going out on the pitch in his underwear. Who knows what Walburga Black would say!” They burst out laughing and were picked up by Madam Pomfrey who invited Alexandra and Regulus to let Barty rest and boing not late for dinner. Before leaving, Alexandra greeted Barty by touching his hand and placing a kiss on his forehead.

After dinner, in the Slytherin common room, Alexandra found a copy of the Daily Prophet abandoned on one of the sofas. The sofa near fireplace was free so she settled down to read the newspaper. On the front page, the picture of Mr. Crouch, Barty’s dad, announced with his severe frown some extraordinary repressive measures against those who trafficked with the Dark Arts.

“Everyone is a suspect. Anyone can be colluding,” he told reporters. Alexandra muttered to herself: “This is madness.” Regulus sat down next to her to read the article.

“According to these reconstructions our parents should be in Azkaban, shouldn’t they?” she asked scared.

“According to this reconstruction, Barty and I should also be in Azkaban. My cousin Bellatrix, Lucius and Narcissa, all the Lestranges’ and most of the people here in Slytherin. Even Severus Snape.”

“Studying the Dark Arts does not mean being a follower of You-Know-Who,” Alexandra commented.

“Being a follower of the Dark Lord does not mean committing crimes,” Regulus added, “just because there have been freaks who hit Muggles doesn’t mean everyone would do the same. Opinions shouldn’t be a crime.”

Regulus approached her leaning an arm on the back of the sofa behind her. Alexandra felt his arm slowly slide down her back. He turned to Regulus and asked him: “What’s going on?”

“I make my mother angry. In your opinion, how long will it be before a painting notifies my ancestor in the Headmaster’s study and he runs home to Walburga?”

Alexandra shook her head: “You are awful.”

“They must learn to trust me.”

“You don’t help them like that, go hug McNair who’s there, dying of envy,” she told him.

“Why? Don’t you want to be envied? Everyone will wonder what Turner has more than them.”

“Infinite patience, I suppose,” she agreed.

“And a promising chest,” he added making her blush. She hit him with the copy of the Daily Prophet by joke, while the subjects in the pictures protested.

“Come on, I’m joking. I miss Barty,” Regulus told her as he lay down on the sofa hugging a green velvet cushion. “By the way, is there any tender among you? I saw how you look each other…” he said amused, with his usual gossipy expression. Alexandra blushed and that reaction was the equivalent of a confession.

“Good Barty! I’m happy for you, but don’t exclude me!”

“I don’t think it’s even possible to exclude you and there’s nothing between me and Barty,” Alexandra added.

“It’s just a matter of time. In the dorm Barty often talks about you. I didn’t know you were the girl he asked me for advice about. If he hurts you, I’ll break his pretty face,” he said pulling her to him and hugging her. Alexandra remained in Regulus’s arms thinking about the words he had just said to her, while she watched the fire crackle gleefully. She was afraid that everything might change between them. She hugged Regulus and he stroked her back, muttering, “It’ll be okay. Do not be afraid.”

Professor Slughorn entered the common room looking for Regulus. He got up from the sofa checking the Black pocket watch and said amused: “A quarter of an hour between Hogwarts and Grimmauld Place, remarkable!” He caught up with Professor Slughorn with his sly expression and amused gait. He remembered Sirius when he strut like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late in translating. I'll try to speed up the next chapters!   
> Thank you for all readers and viewers, I hope you like this story as much as I loved to write it.  
> Kudos and comments are welcome!  
> Sev


	4. 3. Time to move on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra does not understand Barty reaction and while she feels heartbroken, Desmond Avery approaches her.

**Chapter 3 – Time to move on**

_Hogwarts, October 15th, 1977_

Nothing happened of what Regulus announced to Alexandra.

Barty left the hospital wing, returned to class, joined Quidditch training and the secrete class of the Dark Arts. He never mentioned her what had happened in the hospital wing between them.

Alexandra began to wonder if she had misunderstood everything. Why had Regulus told her something false? Maybe she was not the girl Barty had asked for advice? Did she and Regulus misunderstand everything? Why Regulus gave her any hope about Barty?

She was scared to ruin her friendship with Barty, and she felt so embarrassed for believing that something more than friendship could happen, so she started avoiding both Barty and Regulus. She felt her heart broken with a continuous pain in the middle of her chest. She considered herself a fool to believe that Barty could share the same feelings she was feeling, and now she had to handle that stupid infatuation by herself.

Alexandra started wandering through Hogwarts’ gardens sad and alone, even in the November rains, when the risk getting sick was serious. She walked during all her free time in order to be exhausted after supper and go to bed avoiding her housemates. Behind the curtains of her bed, or in the rain, she felt free to cry. She just needed to stay away from places that Professor Sprout used to cross, or to get too close to Hagrid’s house, ro to the Quidditch pitch, and of course try not to get too close to the Forbidden Forest. Her favourite route was the one that led to the Black Lake, where sometimes she could hear the voices of the creatures living in the lake.

When it was not raining she could sit on the rocks near the shore and she could talk loud to herself, repeating what she could do wrong, what she had misunderstood, what Barty’s blushed meant.

“Turner, is that you? Are you OK?”

Alexandra wiped her tears before turning toward that voice, despite her red eyes could confess her crying. Desmond Avery, Captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, slowly approached her with clumsy footsteps on the slippery mud of the lakeshore after rain.

He sat beside her without asking her permission. “Are you a lover of stormy lakes too?” he asked her to break the ice.

“No, I just want to be alone,” she replied sincerely. She wasn’t in the mood for conversation. Desmond watched her with his green eyes that stood out under the hood of his cloak.

“Whoever of those two is, he doesn’t deserve your tears, believe me,” he said bluntly. Alexandra was surprised that he immediately understood what had happened. It was the first time she had been forced to address that subject with someone. Desmond was staring at the lake, as if he was looking for the words to say, he kept his arms resting on his knees and his hands clasped, in an attempt to be more stable on that slippery rock.

He took a deep breath and said: “Look, Turner, I know it’s not the right time to talk about it, but I always find you with those two guys around. I got a few extra Galleons from my grandma and I would like to spend it all in Honeydukes’ candies and in the Three Broomsticks’ Butterbeers. Would you like to join me on the next outing in Hogsmeade? If I'm not mistaken, it will be on Saturday.” He spoke almost breathlessly, with a confident tone.

“Is this a date?” Alexandra asked surprised.

“Something like that,” he said with a smile, “you can’t despair forever. It’s time to move on, isn’t it?”

“All right.”

Desmond was right. There was no point in despairing over what had been just her fantasy. Desmond offered her his hand and asked: “Shall we go back to the common room?”

Alexandra nodded and grabbed Desmond’s big strong hand, which was full of calluses from long broom flying sessions. Desmond approached her without leaving her hand and said: “When the weather comes, I’ll take you for a ride in my new Shooting Star. I discovered a breath-taking path.”

It was strange to receive attention from Desmond Avery. He was tall and muscled compared to her, he was a senior student, and she was among the most coveted bachelor at Hogwarts. According to her mother, he should never have dreamed of going out with someone like her. On the contrary, he asked her to date and maybe her mother and her theory of steps were wrong.

Before entering the common room, he asked her: “Do you know that you have a beautiful smile?”

Alexandra felt the warmth of the room warming her, and Desmond instantly dried her with a spell, and she felt clean again. She smiled.

“Shall we seat close for supper?” he asked, getting even closer to her, and still holding her hand. It seemed to her that Desmond wanted the entire House of Slytherin to know that she was with him now. He was tender, and Alexandra thought that he wanted to mark territory.

In a corner of the common room, Barty and Regulus watched the scene puzzled. It was their fault, Alexandra thought as she let Desmond led her to the Great Hall. She dined with him and his friends, Jago Mulciber, and Severus Snape. It was strange to sit among the seventh-year boys, while her fourth-year friends, Regulus, sat halfway across the table.

Throughout the supper they talked about politics, and Aurors searches in the houses of dark wizards. The news filtering through Hogwarts was terrible. Mulciber told them that his cousins in Wales had had the Aurors at home with a generic search warrant and that any attempt at objection by their lawyer had been rejected by Crouch.

“And we should teach dark arts to the son? Who says he won’t have us all arrested?” Mulciber asked. Desmond looked seriously at his friend and said: “Regulus vouch for Crouch, you know.”

“Let’s just hope Black’s judgment is not too clouded... by _his feelings_ ,” Severus said in the toneless, allusive way he used to speak. Alexandra was impressed.

“I know Regulus, he would not jeopardize everyone’s safety for friendship,” she said trying to assure that Regulus was careful.

“Yes, it’s just friendship…” Mulciber said chuckling. Desmond gave him a glare that silenced him. When the dessert was served and students began to leave the Great Hall, Desmond invited Alexandra for a walk before returning to the common room. Desmond held her hand, and he looked at her in a way that made her blush.

“I don't want to go back to the common room,” he confessed.

“I didn't think you were so solitary, Captain,” she joked reminding him of the crowds he enjoyed when Slytherin won a Quidditch match.

“That’s show, Turner. I want to be with you for a while.”

He sat down on a bench in a semi-deserted corridor that led to the dungeons. In front of them the glass figures in the carved windows moved as the incessant sound of rain came from outside.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Desmond asked.

Alexandra shook her head: “I keep wondering why this sudden interest in me.”

“I’ve been watching you for a while, Turner. You came back from Greece changed. I’ve been trying to get close to you since September 1st, and I had to wait for an enemy mistake to get you. It’s my senior year and this is the only chance I have with you.” He put his arm around her shoulders and drew her to him, his eyes staring at her hungry, he shook his head and murmured in her ear: “If you look at me like that, Alex, I don't know what to do ...”

“How am I looking at you?”

“With that innocent air ... you don’t know what effect you have on me…”

“Calm down, Avery, I’m not one of your girlfriends,” she told him and walked away from him, she continued to study him.

“But you’re not even one of those embalmed who my parents want I marry with.”

“I dare say I am not.”

“All right, I’ll be good. Remind that I am going to think about you a lot tonight.”

For the first time in her life, Alexandra felt that she was desired as a grown woman, as she read in the romance novels she stole from her aunt. It was like having some kind of magical power that managed to keep Desmond Avery at bay. She liked that feeling.

In the dorm she thought of Desmond, of the way he had held her close, of his breathing and found herself longing for his lips and his hands clasping her again. Her body was filled with a kind of languor, with a state of impatience and constant agitation that she could not explain.

She waited for the arrival of Saturday with too much impatience she was willing to admit. On Saturday morning, Desmond waited for her in the common room, they ate breakfast with his friends, and took the coaches towards the village of Hogsmeade. It was great to go shopping with Desmond.

They met Regulus and Barty in the Quidditch shop and Desmond greeted them quickly, hugging Alexandra, she felt embarrassed by such public gestures of affection. She noticed Regulus and Barty’s disappointment, even though Severus and Iago’s words kept coming back to her: was there any tender between Barty and Regulus for real?

Alexandra was surprised by the ceremonious way in which Desmond complimented Madam Rosmerta to get a table in that pub crowded with students, teachers, and other people.

“Next time I think we’ll have to go to the Hog’s Head. I Know that it’s not very romantic, but at least it’s quieter.”

“That place is a little creepy.” Alexandra confessed to him.

“I know, I was joking,” he smiled with his sexy lips, “I would never take you to such a bad place.” Alexandra felt Desmond’s foot touching her legs and he glanced at her eagerly.

“Shall we go for a walk?” he proposed.

Alexandra nodded, the air in the pub was so hot it became unbreathable. They walked along the village streets to the edge of the Shrieking Shack. There was a moment when they were alone and they kissed. For the last few nights Alexandra had longed to be kissed by Desmond and she had tried to remember all the rumors about Desmond’s kisses with no success. It was strange and natural at the same time, she felt his soft lips resting on hers as they kissed again in a way she couldn’t explain.

They kissed several times in front of the most haunted house of all Great Britain. Desmond held her close to him, his hands slipped under her cloak and wrapped around her waist. She felt that impatient feeling rising within her again.

In the following days they continued to kiss, taking advantage of every free moment. Each time they wanted an increasingly prolonged contact. Desmond kissed her neck and that feeling that caused a series of chills, accentuated by the tickle of his short beard.

Along with kisses came caresses and Desmond’s hands slipped under her skirt. Alexandra was surprised by the sensations that those caresses were able to provoke. Suddenly, when she sat on Desmond’s lap, when he hugged her and caressed her legs, she began to feel uncomfortable in her school uniform. Desmond’s hands slipped under the sweater, trying to make their way between the buttons of the shirt to get to caress her breasts.

In the evenings she found herself in the dormitory recalling those moments, and she began desiring even more, surprised by the pleasant sensations that contact caused her.

In the middle of December, when the school was dressing up for the Yule party, Desmond confessed that he had found an abandoned classroom where they could be together for a while. They had been dating for almost two months and spent every free minute kissing in the most disparate corners of Hogwarts.

Once they had been caught by Peeves, who had throwed a bucket full of icy water over their heads, bursting out laughing. Another time the librarian had put them in detention for catching them kissing among the books of Charms.

For all those reasons, the idea of having a place where to spend some time together seemed a great idea. Alexandra let Desmond lead her into the classroom he had found. They casted a Muffliato charm to protect their privacy and floating lights to illuminate that dark classroom. The atmosphere was romantic.

Desmond was excited. He smiled continuously and he did not stop telling her how beautiful she was, while Alexandra just wanted his kisses.

“Don’t undress,” he begged, “stay in the uniform, please.”

Alexandra complied, thinking Desmond had plans in mind. They arranged their cloaks on the floor and sat down together. He looked at her: “You are so beautiful.” He stroked her legs, slipping his fingers under the elastic of the wool socks, pulling them off. Alexandra shivered in the cold of the room.

Desmond made her lie on the cloak, then he lied next to her, watching her, and caressing her body. He was alternating caresses on the uniform with raids under the clothes, touching her skin. Alexandra tried to caress Desmond, but he pulled her hand away and told her not to do anything. Alexandra then lowered her hand and as she touched Desmond’s trousers the irreparable happened.

She felt mortified, as if she had ruined everything.

“I’m sorry,” she told him, “I didn't mean to…” she could not even find the words to say how sorry she was.

Desmond sighed smiling: “It's just that you’re so beautiful, I wasn’t ready for that. It will get better,” he assured her. Desmond was right. Things improved someway. His caresses became more prolonged and intense, once he even managed to remove her brasserie, but every time Alexandra returned to the dorm with the frustration that something was over before its time.

She felt wrong. Rumors in the dorm, among girls, said he was a great lover, and she thought it was her fault, that she was not good enough. No one had told her what to do, she just followed Desmond’s directions, why was it all over so soon?

She was once tempted to talk about this problem with Regulus, but then she told herself she could not embarass Desmond. She didn't want the once-best friend to get strange ideas about her either. She wanted to ask Regulus a lot of questions, as if the rumors about him and Barty were true, and if the intimate moments were like that. Perhaps what she had read in her aunt’s novels were literary exaggerations, perhaps things were really going that way. That could explain the behaviour of girls that Desmond and Regulus called “the embalmed”: if it was so frustrating, better was to avoid everything. Maybe her mother was right with all her speeches about waiting marriage.

She thought that maybe Desmond and she were not compatible, and that she had to find a way out of that story. Salazar Slytherin himself came to rescue her: the day before the Christmas holidays, in fact, during the Slytherin farewell party, right under the statue of their Founder, an owl reached Desmond and handed him a letter.

“How strange…” Desmond muttered, he turned the envelope and saw the seal of his family: three black crows in flight. He looked at Alexandra with a hint of concern in his eyes. In those days, letters from home could mean family arrests, deaths, or at best the announcement that pocket-money would be cancelled due to a confiscation of assets by the Ministry of Magic.

_“Dear Desmond, how are you? Your father and I are delighted to announce that we have signed an engagement agreement with Margareth McNair. She will come to us with the whole family for our Yule sabbath ceremony._

_Please, be presentable and, if you can, start talking to her right now. It helps a lot to arrive being already in harmony. "_

Desmond looked at Alexandra unsure about what to say.

“Don’t worry,” Alexandra told him, “I understand perfectly. I know how things are in this world.”

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

“It was nice,” she lied. She left him and hided in the library to finish her last homework before leaving. A part of herself was happy to stop those disappointing meetings, on the contrary, another part of herself was keeping telling her that she would always be alone.

“Hey!” Barty’s voice made her look up from the Ancient Runes essay. She met his brown eyes and smiled again. Beside him, omnipresent, Regulus with his gossipy look asked her in a low voice: “We saw Avery with McNair, what happened?”

“Quiet!” a reprimand from the next table advised her to leave the library and go out into the courtyard to talk to her friends. It was starting to snow, some first-year students were running in the snow, and Professor McGonagall was telling them not to run it wax slippery.

“What happened?” Barty asked again.

“The usual. An engagement contract has arrived,” she explained.

“Are you ok?” Regulus asked her.

Alexandra nodded: “I missed the both of you.”

“We missed you too,” Barty told her, Regulus put his arm around her shoulders and carried her towards the common room. “We have to celebrate: Turner is back! Today, let us drain my Butterbeer stocks!”

“It’s forbidden to have any at Hogwarts, isn’t it?” she asked puzzled.

“That’s why we better finish it before the Christmas holidays,” Regulus said with a wink.


	5. 4. Back to London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before leaving for Christmas break, Alexandra gets close with Barty, but Regulus seems to be something to talk about. Barty has the most simple solution to solve their problems.

**Chapter 4 - Back to London**

_Hogwarts, December 20 th, 1977_

The Christmas holidays of 1977 was the most enchanting period of Alexandra’s life, as only few other periods would be in the following years.

On December 20th, it was the last day of class before leaving Hogwarts for Christmas break. Alexandra and Barty finished Potions and they were heading for the north tower for the Divination class. Then, they should use their Time Turner to attend Care of Magical Creatures. In fact, in their third year they both chose to attend all twelve classes.

“Brace yourself, my mom has convinced yours to spend Christmas day together at home,” Alexandra proudly announced.

She explained: “As usual, your dad is busy with the Wizengamot, so my mom insisted to have both of you as guests and not leave you alone, she insisted until your mum said yes, you know how my mum is.”

“Great, now you will pity us,” Barty replied with his usual melodramatic attitude.

When it came to his family, Barty could never help but exaggerate and overstate everything. Alexandra had both parents busy with their job at St. Mungo, she knew what it meant to spend holidays at home with family friends instead of being left alone. As a child, she and Robert had spent several Christmases at Grimmauld Place with the Blacks. When their parents finished their shift at St Mungo's they would join them for Christmas pudding or to drink of Orion Black’s famous Fire Whiskey. Depending on the time they were leaving the hospital. One year, incredibly, they even managed to have Christmas diner all together. The wizarding world was facing a hard time, and although they both agreed that Mr. Crouch was complicating everything, he could not be expected to be home on Christmas Eve like any employee of the Ministry of Magic.

Barty was so touchy on this matter that he could not even be told that he was exaggerating, so Alexandra just skipped it and grabbed his arm: “Come on, I'm happy to spend Christmas Eve with you!”

Barty blushed and came close to Alexandra. The rest of the class had already reached the Divination room at the top of the stairs. The voice of Professor Gaiamens could be heard inviting the students to take their seats.

Instead of speeding up, Barty stopped and got closer. Alexandra felt her back against the stained-glass window that illuminated the stairs, Barty was in front of her blocking any movement. The arm she was grabbing few moments ago now wrapped her waist.

Her heart beat faster, while her eyes were fixed on Barty’s. He always had the same effect on her. Despite Desmond. Despite Regulus. Despite everything.

She could not say where she got the courage or what came across her mind. Without thinking of the consequences, she lifted on her toes and pulled Barty towards her, she grabbed his uniform tie and kissed him.

Barty kissed her back, passionately, as if he were expecting nothing but a sign from her. The hands of Barty wrapped tight her waist. They kissed again and, before their mouths left, Barty touched her lips with his tongue. At that contact, Alexandra felt her knees trembling, she stepped back, against the window. She grabbed his arms against the wall to keep her balance. She was afraid of falling down the stairs. Barty held her up and smiled, he looked satisfied to see the effect of his initiative.

Even the leaves in her tea, during Divination class, had the shape of a snail, and Alexandra wondered if it was a metaphor for the way Barty had used his tongue over her lips.

Under the tea tables, hided by the long tablecloths, Barty hold her hand throughout the lesson and he touched her wrist in a way that caused her to shiver with pleasure.

“Turner, pay attention,” Professor Gaiamens noted, arousing Barty’s amused gaze. On that last day, they filled time between lesson kissing, and Barty enjoyed making her lose focus during classes. He was aware of the power he had over her, he only needed to touch her wrist or reach behind her knee, inserting a finger into the elastic of the uniform's wool stocking.

They used Time Turner once more, to carve out an hour just for them, since they hadn’t had a chance to talk about what was happening.

“I didn’t believe it,” he confessed her, as he sat on the floor in an empty classroom they had found by chance. She looked at him with her brown eyes, the floating lights they had casted lightened Barty’s straw coloured hair. “When I saw you with Avery, I thought I lost you.”

“Why didn’t you say anything after what happened in the hospital wing?” Alexandra asked him. She couldn’t stop the question that had haunted her for months.

“I was waiting for the right moment. I was scared,” he confessed, he was looking at his hands clasped over his knees.

“You’ve been avoiding me for days.”

“I know.”

“Regulus told me…” she tried to say, but she was interrupted by Barty. “I know, it’s complicated, we’ll need to talk about that too.” Barty kissed her with passion, she parted her lips and felt his tongue caressing her mouth. Alexandra began to feel warm, and to fear that everything would end as with Desmond.

She tried to caress Barty’s face, kiss his cheeks, get down on his neck, and she felt him shiver.

He took off her uniform sweater, and her tie. Then Barty began to undress her while she undid the buttons of her shirt. Alexandra sat down on top of her uniform cloak, on the floor of that dusty classroom. Barty, removed his shirt, he was kneeling in front of her. He took her hand and guided her towards his erection.

Alexandra was surprised by that gesture and found herself unprepared. Barty noticed it and said her surprised: “I thought that you did it with Avery …”

Alexandra raised her eyebrows puzzled and Barty explained to her: “In dorms, Avery used to say that you were so passionate, like a show...”

“If it was a show, it was over before it even started,” she exclaimed surprised by that revelation. For all the dragons, it had been so frustrating, and he bragged about those performances?

Barty shook his head amused: “That’s better.” He guided her hand and taught her the grip, the rhythm and the squeeze to give him pleasure and Alexandra felt his arousal growing under her touch.

“Would you like to kiss it?” He pleaded. She nodded, she felt so curios and she knew that nothing bad could happen to her with Barty. It was strange to feel the contact of her lips with the thin and sensitive skin of his erection.

From below she observed Barty feeling pleasure from the sight of the scene she was offering to him. Barty caressed her face as she continued to play with his erection, ran his thumb over her lower lip and let her know what she wanted. She felt it slippling on her lips and then enter her mouth and she followed the rhythm. She could hear him moan with pleasure and she couldn’t believe that she was able to arouse those sensations.

Barty stopped before reaching orgasm.

“You are fantastic,” he murmured, leaning over her to kiss her, he had bitten lightly her lips before moving away from her. He helped her to lie down on the floor, and he put it over. Barty enjoyed caressing her between legs, in a way that gave her a series of pleasant shivers, quite different from Desmond’s clumsy and hasty gestures.

She felt something inside her, as if the sensations that Barty was giving to her were what her state of impatience craved. That desire inside her that she did not understand how to define or satisfy. It seemed that she had found the missing piece of a puzzle.

“I couldn’t believe to be lucky enough to be the first, you know?” he whispered just before entering inside her, while he moved slowly. After a while, he intensified the lunges as she became familiar with that new and slightly painful sensation, she watched Barty moving over her.

Barty kept whispering in her ear how beautiful she was, and just before reaching orgasm he murmured: “Next time it will be better. The first time it feels strange.”

That the phrase sounded vaguely familiar, but the shivers Barty gave her, and his kisses, made Alexandra think that there was an enormous difference between Barty and Desmond. She felt dizzy with pleasure and at the same time she felt strange, prey to sensations she had never experienced before.

She had discovered how to give pleasure, Barty had given her shivers she had never felt, and now she felt confused about what it had been like to make love. She was glad the first time in her life had been with Barty. She also liked that it had been an impulsive choice.

They had waited too long for the right moment, which had not come, and they had risked being lost forever. Now, she wanted to spend the whole day loving Barty.

They were leaving that classroom when he whispered in her ear: “During the holiday season there will be a lot of fun doing homework together.” They both smiled, accomplices. They had been studying in their rooms for years without any supervision, left alone by parents too busy with their own business. Soon they would have entire afternoons in which to indulge their pleasure.

The next day they took the train back to London.

That Christmas many students would have spent the holidays at Hogwarts because many families feared the attacks of the Death Eaters and others were worried for the searches of the Aurors. The Ministry of Magic had imposed a curfew and a series of restrictive measures for the gatherings of people which created a gloomy and not very festive atmosphere. For this reason, many parents had invited their children to stay in school, away from the atmosphere of war that reigned in London and the rest of the country. Alexandra, Barty and Regulus, however, returned home.

Although Bartemius Crouch senior would have preferred to know that his son would stay at Hogwarts, he had to surrender to his son’s desire to go home and spend Christmas with his mother. Barty had any intention of leaving his mother alone at Yule, knowing that his father would take advantage of the absence of the son to spend every minute to the Wizengamot.

Regulus, on the other hand, would have preferred to remain at Hogwarts, free from his family, but the engagement party of his cousin Narcissa with that swaggering peacock of Lucius Malfoy had requested the presence of the Black heir at home.

The return of Regulus and Barty had determined the return of Alexandra who would never, ever spend Yule all alone in Hogwarts if she knew that both her friends would return to London.

Like Regulus, she too would have preferred the three of them to stay at Hogwarts, but the bond between her father and Orion Black had involved an invitation to the engagement party for her too, and Malfoys’ political relations with the Minister of Magic had sent an invitation at the Crouch house too.

In an half-empty train, she and Barty found an empty compartment.

“Wingardium Leviosa!” The trunks floated up to the luggage compartment and, once they were settled, Barty came close to Alexandra to kiss her.

Alexandra felt Barty’s breath on her moist lips and wished she had more. She hanged to Barty’s cloak to get close to his lips again, when they heard the click of the door open. They both turned towards the door and saw an amused Regulus Black asking slyly: “Shall I be back later?”

“No,” Barty told him smiling, “please, stay with us.”

“You don’t know how happy I am with your return, Alex. Just think how weird Christmas would be with Avery among us,” he told her as he sat down next to her.

“Reg ... let’s forget those two rather disappointing months,” she said. Alexandra didn’t want to talk about Desmond. She was glad she had an escape from that frustrating situation, but she was quite nervous about Desmond’s behaviour. Since the day of that letter, since she had greeted him, he had never spoken to her again.

Alexandra understood the need to appear presentable to Margareth McNair’s eyes, but she didn’t think she deserved to be completely ignored. Fortunately, things with Barty had taken a totally unpredictable turn and in the last twenty-four hours her thoughts of Desmond had completely dissolved.

“Barty told me,” he admitted amused, “You have no idea about what Desmond tells in the dorms ... You have a reputation for being... er, _very passionate_.” Regulus scrutinized her with his gray eyes and an amused smile.

Alexandra shook her head rolling her eyes: “Well, I couldn’t even touch him!”

It was so painful to have to remember those clumsy approaches, that feeling of frustration and inadequacy. Then, without thinking, she continued: “Barty is a witness to the state in which he found me.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow and cast an amused glance at Barty who confirmed: “Perfectly untained, Sir.”

“In spite of everything you managed to be the first, huh? Congratulations.”

“Feeling envy?” Barty asked, amused.

“A lot,” Regulus admitted, his gaze lingering on her. Alexandra felt herself blush. She was sitting in the middle of the compartment, between Barty and Regulus.

“You played the role of the classmate. Very smart,” Regulus told him.

“It’s not a game, Regulus,” Barty told him, turning serious again. He took her hand as he continued to look at Regulus: “If you are sure about what you said, now it’s up to you.”

“What does it mean?” Alexandra asked worried, “what did you say?” she asked Regulus. She didn’t like the way the two friends talked to each other. She didn't want to be the cause of a fight.

In truth, Regulus should not feel anything for her, absolutely nothing.

It was what she had always known.

There could be nothing outside friendship, even if he was charming, even if his smile could trouble her, and if that time he had complimented her, back from Greece, she had felt something, well, that was nothing but complacency. Vanity. A fulfilment of the narcissistic side that lives in each of us. In short, who does not want to receive compliments? Especially if they come from the people we grew up with and who know us best?

Regulus sat down next to her, and he smiled shyly. He was looking down, he clenched his hand in fists on his knees, as if he were looking for the right words to explain something to her.

“I don't know where to start, Alex,” he confessed.

She took his hand, like she always did since she could remember, and she said: “Speak smoothly, as we always have.”

“It’s complicated and I’m afraid of being inappropriate or, even worse, of offending you,” he told her. Barty beside her watched the scene in silence.

“Reg, there is nothing you can say that can offend me.”

“Okay,” he said, “I’ve been in love with you since I was eleven,” he confessed bluntly.

Alexandra felt something jump in her stomach. Another piece of a puzzle that seemed to have found its place. The train had begun to move causing her to swing even closer to Regulus. He took her face in his hands. She could smell Regulus’s breath, his scent of talc and soap, because the perfumes gave him a headache.

Regulus kissed her and before she could leave, telling him no, well, there was Barty there, in that same compartment, she kissed him back. Regulus kissed her again, almost crying, and she returned that kiss, thinking of all the times she had repressed any thought about him who must have been just her best friend. As she pulled away from Regulus’ face she felt Barty’s hand on her shoulder whisper to her: “Don't worry, it’s okay.”

She turned to him puzzled. According to what she had been taught about human relationships, he should have been in jealousy, he should have accused her of treason for kissing another man but himself. On the contrary, Barty was calm. He took her hand and said: “Now, it comes the part that may seem strange.”

He was looking at her with his brown eyes, alternating his gaze between her and Regulus. He was starting to be less sure of himself, a little nervous too.

“When I was released from the hospital wing, well, in the Slytherin dorm something happened between me and Regulus,” he confessed.

Barty looked out the window, perhaps to ease his nervousness, and then he returned to them: “That’s the point. Each and every one of us fell in love with the other two, and we’re stuck in this situation for years. You have no idea how afraid we were of losing you when Avery appeared out of nowhere. Fortunately, it didn’t last long, but I had to intervene immediately. I wanted to leave Regulus to take the first step. He’s been dreaming of kissing you for six years, but when you hugged me I realized that I couldn’t let that moment pass and then you kissed me, and you know how things evolved.”

Alexandra watched them without fully understand what Barty was telling her. What happened in the dorm? The thing Mulciber was talking about? Regulus had been dreaming of kissing her for six years? And Barty too?

“What does all this mean?” she asked confused.

“We will not have to make any waiver, if you agree too.”

“What will people say?”

“It's none of their business. Apparently you will be my fiancée,” Barty explained to her, “Regulus could not belong to any of us, you know how marriage contracts work. If you want, he will be part of our life.”

Saying those words, Barty had wrapped her waist, while they both looked at Regulus. Barty held out a hand to Regulus who took it, while Alexandra held Regulus’s other hand. Was it possible to love two people in the same way and at the same time? And that they loved each other in turn? Barty’s speech was flawless, as always. They seemed to have had clear ideas for much longer than she did.

Barty stood up, with the calm air he had maintained all along, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, he said: “Now, you need to be together. You have been waiting for this moment for years. I go out into the corridor to check that nobody disturbs you.”

Alexandra didn't want Barty to go out. “You don't need to go away,” she told him.

“Yes, I do. It’s not a game. You need a moment for the two of you, as we have had yesterday.” He pulled the compartment door behind him.

Alexandra looked back at Regulus, she was holding his hands. The situation seemed absurd to her. The way Barty spoke to her, the seriousness in his eyes and Regulus’ hesitation told her it was not a fiction, that it was all absurdly true.

She confessed to him: “You have no idea about how difficult it was to suppress every feeling towards you, to keep everything within the borders of friendship.”

“I know, Alex. I don’t know if I can ever forgive my family what they did to us.”

“You know their intentions are not evil.”

“But there is a lot of suffering behind it, and hypocrisy. Why can’t I be myself and be free to fall in love?”

“Why didn’t you tell me how you felt about Barty? I confessed my feelings.”

“I was afraid of losing you… and of being judged.”

“Do you know what Mulciber says about you two?”

“He saw us in the dorm after Barty’s accident. I went into his room to see how he was feeling, and he kissed me, the door was open and Mulciber saw us, also because Barty had dropped his crutches. We blamed a side effect of the Calming Filter, but I don’t think he believed it. Anyway, when they will see Barty pairing up with you, they’ll change their mind.”

“How will you cope with it?”

“I have no other choice. I can’t be your boyfriend, you know, and Barty’s boyfriend neither.”

Alexandra watched Regulus’ long face, his gray eyes and the waves of black wisps that framed his face almost to his shoulders. She caressed him and she did not believe she could ever make such a contact. He approached, pressing his forehead against hers.

“Alex…”

“Reg…”

Their lips touched. She could feel his breath on her lips, that desire they used to control. Regulus guided Alexandra back into the seat. His lips sought her passionately, they seemed unable to detach from hers and his tongue sought hers, going even deeper, in that growing desire for intimacy. He kissed her neck, and his hands went under the uniform sweater to touch her breasts, as she clung to his shoulders, stronger than Bartys’.

Barty's body was slender, Regulus’ was athletic, and his grips more vigorous. They pulled off their sweaters, unzipped their shirts, and he hugged her to feel her chest against his. Alexandra massaged the back of his neck while he kissed her, felt his hand go down, and he stretched the elastic of the stockings, making them go down, first the left towards the window, then the right, towards the door. Regulus’ hand caressed her leg, lingered behind her knee, and then moved up her thigh, tucking into the folds of her school uniform skirt.

Alexandra slipped over the seat, spread her legs slightly and when Regulus’ fingers touched her panties she heard him murmur: “Salazar ...” A shiver started from the point where Regulus had touched her and harpooned her and shocked her whole body, like when you take a Portkey, but more intense and more beautiful. His fingers pulled back the elastic of panties and passed the cotton barrier that separated them. Another shiver and then she felt herself melting. That sensation, like an icicle in the sun, Alexandra had felt it several times, brought back to impatience and lived with shame, as if it were something unseemly.

Regulus murmured to her: “You’re so wet.” He got up and slid her back onto the seat, pulled off her panties and lifted her skirt. He lingered for a moment on the image of her lying on the seat, with her shirt open, the green lace bra and the skirt that, with the scattered folds, revealed something more than her legs.

He got rid of his pants and, when Alexandra moved her arm, feeling that she must return the pleasure received, he said to her: “Salazar, you are so beautiful that I don’t know how long I can resist.”

He casted a contraceptive spell and entered her, slowly, almost trembling with the emotion he was trying to control, while Alexandra found him so handsome. She had dreamed of such a moment only once, in the Slytherin dormitory and woke up needing to rub between her legs, and remembered that she felt like she was melting, and her panties were wet. She had run to the bathroom that time, fearing that her period had come early and at the time she didn’t understand what was happening to her body.

That dream came back to her in that moment, while Regulus with his big gray eyes stared at her, and she barely contained the emotion. Now she felt Regulus’ skin against hers, his chest rubbing against hers, his hands holding on to her shoulders so as not to fall from that uncomfortable seat, too small for the two of them. The train vibrated and every curve seemed to want to overturn them on the ground.

At one point Regulus’ lunges slowed, he gave her a chance to breathe.

“I think that a scene like this was my first erotic dream,” he whispered to her.

“Mine too,” she confessed blushing.

He went down to kiss her, hold her again and sink into her again, with an ever faster pace. Alexandra felt a strange sensation, as if she were merging with him, her breathing became shorter, her heart beat faster and the world seemed to disappear. She tilted her head back looking at the sky that ran beyond the window as she indulged in that feeling of pleasure never experienced before. Regulus followed her shortly after and then collapsed on her who felt his weight as her heart and breath tried to return to their regular rhythms.

She would never have believed it possible to experience such a pleasure and the sensation of lightness she felt immediately afterwards was incredible. If Barty had given her her first intercourse, Regulus had given her her first orgasm and it seemed like the best way to balance their triangle.


End file.
